My 16-year-old son has been really quiet and has pulled away lately. I have asked a few times what is going on and tried to check in, but I could never get the truth out of him, until finally he broke down and shared that a group of kids are sending Snapchats to each other making fun of him. It has gotten really out of control. How do I help him deal with online bullying? Do I call the parents? I don’t want to see him hurt like this.
I am so sorry to hear that your son has been experiencing online bullying.
Because your son is 16 years old, he is old enough to have a say in how this situation is handled. He has opened up to you about the challenges he is facing, but he may not have done that in the hopes that you would step in to “fix” things for him. He likely wanted to lean on you for emotional support, and to know that you are in his corner when things feel really tough. It might even be that taking action. without his consent, could worsen the situation for him and feel like a breach of trust from his perspective.
You ask whether you should call the parents. My advice is to speak to your son again and suggest ways in which you feel you can support him. What does he need?
Ask him: What can I do that would be most helpful to you?
- Does he want you to be someone who just listens?
- Does he want you to be someone who makes suggestions as to what he can do to address the issue?
Or
- Does he want you to take action on his behalf?
Some things to consider and discuss with your son.
- If the kids involved go to his school, find out what the school online bullying policy is (it is usually on their website). Arrange a meeting with the school to discuss how to address the issue.
- Consider contacting the police if your son feels threatened or unsafe.
- Ask your son whether he feels he requires additional support like access to counselling during this difficult time.
He is lucky to have someone who he feels he can turn to.
