How to Talk to Your Tween about Puberty

Many parents were not talked to about puberty from their parents, so it is a complex subject to have a discussion with our children about. Parents were left to figure it out as things happened. But with our highly sexualized world, we need to be prepared to speak with our children before they find information on the internet or from their friends (which may not be reliable). 

By Dr. Ayala Wegman

Advice

Parenting

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about the doc

Ayala Wegman is a clinical assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at NYU Grossman School of Medicine.  She has two young boys and deeply enjoys caring for her community at NYU-Langone Global Pediatrics on the Upper East Side of Manhattan where she resides. We are proud to introduce Ayala as our All About The Mom resident pediatrician. You will find her advice in our Ask a Doc section.

My 10-year-old is starting to show some hormonal signs like mood swings and fatigue. How can I prepare my tween for puberty?

 

Speaking about the developmental, emotional, and physical changes that occur as we get older will demystify the process and make it less scary for your child. These discussions may make you cringe, but they are healthy for a child to hear. When these conversations come from a parent, it normalizes the journey. It is far better for your tween to hear about these growth and development milestones from you than from a peer who may be dolling out misinformation. Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Try, even though it may be challenging, to remember how it felt when you were their age. Have a non-judgmental, open approach to discussions about growth and puberty.

 

Reading books with your child about the changes their body will be facing in the coming years will also make the experience more relatable. This will enable your child to come to you when they have questions and not source them from places that may be untrustworthy.

 

Source relevant reading materials on the subject for your tween.  “Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys” and “The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls,” both published by American Girl, are great starting points. The cartoon depictions in the book are relatable and age-appropriate. “You-ology: A Puberty Guide for EVERY Body” is another excellent gender-inclusive option.

 

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