My teenage son is truly addicted to video games. That’s all he wants to do when he comes home from school. He is performing well academically but seems moody and depressed at home. When we try to encourage him to get together with friends, he says all of his friends are online playing games. How do we allow him to enjoy “hanging” with his friends online and letting him have fun but also teach him when enough is enough? I’m afraid it’s rotting his brain!
Even as an adult, I think we can all admit that technology is tricky to navigate. For families with teenagers, it can feel even trickier.
Why? Because technology is designed to be addictive, and we are surrounded by it. The average teenager spends around 7 hours daily on their phone, and males spend on average 2 hours and 19 minutes of video gaming every day. That’s a lot of screen time.
Gaming can be a behavioral addiction. That means the individual craves the behavior and continues gaming due to compulsions. Youths can feel an uncontrollable urge to continue gaming because gaming activates the same reward pathways as alcohol or drugs – it activates the brain’s reward centers and causes dopamine to be released.
How do you know if your child is addicted? Here are some things to look out for:
- An inability to self-manage the urge to access technology.
- Continuing to prioritize technology despite negative consequences including impact on other relationships or academic achievement.
- Irritability when technology is withdrawn
- Loss of interest in other activities
But even when technology isn’t a true “addiction,” it is often used in unhealthy and disruptive ways. And the more time a teenager spends on technology, the less time they are spending doing other things.
So, what can parents do?
If possible, be clear on boundaries of usage prior to allowing new technology into your home. E.g., video games are not allowed to be played in the bedroom, during family meal times, before bed, etc. This will look different for every family.
Research suggests that collaborating with your teen is helpful. Taking too strict and authoritarian an approach to screen limits can backfire. Instead, try sitting down with your teenager and talking about technology use within your home. This can be an important time to reflect on your own use of technology and what steps you might make to model appropriate and balanced use of technology yourself. Perhaps you might agree to have time away from your smartphone/gaming in the evenings or, turn off your tablet for a period when the children come home from school.
I would also recommend working to add in other things to your teenager’s weekly routine that they feel they would enjoy. Perhaps there is an extracurricular activity they could join, or you agree that Sunday mornings are a family time when everyone goes for a walk and eats brunch together.
To summarize, it might be helpful to:
- Collaborate with your teen and agree on balanced use of technology together.
- Model appropriate use of technology and consider reducing your own usage.
- Bring in other activities and interests to diversify how your teen spends their time.
Hope this helps!
