As we decide which holiday traditions to pass on to our kids and which new ones to start, we often look into our own childhoods for inspiration.

From there, we pick our favorites. For my family, this includes making Christmas cookies, watching Christmas movies, and going to our family Christmas Eve party. For various reasons, the Elf on the Shelf never made it into the rotation. The first one is that Elf on the Shelf really gained in popularity around 2013, and I completely missed this boat. I was grown up and married by this point, but didn’t have any kids until three years later. I knew nothing about this tradition when we began forming the ones that would follow our family and delight my kids.

I don’t have anything against the Elf on the Shelf, but we don’t do it with the kids.

It was something that completely passed me by just due to timing. I didn’t even know what it was when I had my first child. Beginning it now wouldn’t make any sense, as my kids are now six and four. Another reason it wouldn’t make sense is that we don’t really do Santa, so he wouldn’t have a magical elf spying on us.

Growing up, my parents did the Santa thing, and I loved every moment. I even kept pretending well after I knew the truth. It was magical, and I looked forward every Christmas morning to sneaking down to our living room as soon as I woke to make sure he came. Whenever I came into the living room, the stockings were filled, and there was a mountain of presents under the tree, so much more than the night before. I would then go back to bed until everyone else got up. We had candy for breakfast as we opened presents. This was the first thing we did. With my kids now, we still open presents and have treats. While I’m glad my parents did Santa Claus, when we had kids, my husband and I decided not to.

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the magic surrounding the whole thing. It’s my favorite holiday, so forgoing the myth of Santa isn’t a spiteful move by any means, but just one that made sense. We still watch all the Christmas classics. They love the idea of Santa and reindeer flying, but I’ve spent so much time explaining to them how things on TV and in movies aren’t real because other things freak them out. One of my kids also got scared of the idea that someone would come into our house when we were sleeping, so it just made sense not to do it.

While watching Elf, my son was upset that the woman at the beginning left the baby alone with a stranger (Santa), so telling them that it’s a fun story and that he’s a character has worked out well for us. Because of this, the idea of an elf coming to hang out during the day and report to Santa at night also sounds a bit strange.

Everyone has different holiday traditions they hold on to and pass on to their kids. Just because Santa and the Elf on the Shelf are popular ones doesn’t mean that they fit into everyone’s holiday or family. Spend your Christmas how you want. If that includes the Elf and Santa, that’s awesome. If it includes eating candy for breakfast, that’s cool too. It all comes down to what makes the holiday special for you and your family.