Expecting a child is one of the most amazing times you and your partner can experience. There is a lot of preparation involved, and part of that includes nesting.
While a pregnant mom may come by it naturally, it should come naturally while waiting to adopt a child, as well. It’s a vital stage of the adoption process for the parents and the child.
What is nesting?
Just like it sounds, nesting is how you prepare to bring a new baby or child into your life. As a pregnancy gives you time to start nesting, an adoption may happen without much notice.
It can be difficult to get everything ready with only a few months or even weeks’ notice. Nesting must and will happen, and it is a vital part of your adoption process.
Nesting means getting everything ready to have a new baby or child enter your home. It allows you to begin building a safe and happy space for your new child.
This will include any baby needs, like diapers, crib, setting up their room or nursery, making sure the house is child-proofed, and all clothing, food, and so much more.
When you are trying to get everything ready on short notice, it can seem overwhelming. Chances are, you will only see what is missing, not all of your accomplishments.
No one is judging you, least of all, your new child. The most important part of nesting is getting you mentally prepared for your new child. When you see the child’s things every day, it helps you prepare.
Nesting steps
Setting up their room is a great place to start. Decorating will give you a lot of joy. Don’t feel the need to go overboard, and keep it gender-neutral, even if you know the sex.
Learn everything you can. The more you read and talk to other people in the same situation, the better prepared you will be. There is no handbook for raising a child, as each situation is different, yet completely the same.
Setting up resources in your neighborhood is also a great idea. Talking to people who are going through the same experience is a shared passion and you can get some great tips, and make new friends.
Never be afraid to ask a lot of questions. No one expects you to be perfect, so just do your best, and the rest will work itself out. Get your home in order, and then just worry about the rest as it comes.
Why nesting is important for adoptive parents
Nesting not only prepares your home for your new child, but it helps you prepare mentally and emotionally. You can set up their new room and spend time in there, getting used to the idea of a new person about to enter your life.
It would be impossible to go from a free and easy couple’s life of weekend getaways and going out on weekends. It would be too much of a shock to your system to go from a carefree couple to instant parents.
You are going to be in adoptive mode for some time. It’s recommended you start nesting as soon as you make the decision to adopt. Don’t go overboard, to avoid disappointment, but start getting ready.
Setting up a room for your new child is a great place to start. However, be sensible. Don’t start tearing down walls or building extensions. Just decorate the room, furnish it, and get everything you and your new child will need.
It’s a great way to keep you busy and focused on the entire adoptive process. Adoption can take a long time with long waits, disappointments, and changes without much notice.
Setting up your home for your new child will be a welcome distraction from the long wait you may have to endure. Nesting will give you purpose and help your family to be ready when the new child finally arrives.
You can also use this time to set up babysitters, daycare options, pediatricians, support groups, and even connect with other adopting parents. You can learn a lot from others in the same situation.
Preparing yourself for your new child
Ultimately, nesting will get you into child mode. Whether you are getting a new baby or an older child, nesting keeps you focused on the child. When you are working towards the same goal every day, it becomes second nature.
There are always going to be things that happen where you feel completely lost. That is perfectly natural. The longer you have to nest, the less panic you will experience when something doesn’t go exactly to plan.
Raising a child is pretty much a day-by-day experience and you will find all kinds of obstacles. The more prepared you are and the more resources you have set up will make those obstacles merely hiccups.
Don’t get too ahead of yourself, and don’t wait until the last minute. Your new child’s safety and happiness are what will matter most. They will have no expectations from outside of that. The rest, you will discover together.
